joi, 22 septembrie 2016


The day and night are equal and the summer is dying. Our most beautiful season will be gone by tomorow. I believe I have finally arrived to a good place in my life. I have all that I need and what is missing is irrelevant. I have love, time and health.

My mind is quiet and my self indulges in this perfectly white space of freedom and happiness. I was searching for something I never knew and would have never needed. I don't want it anymore; that place is empty, dark and unassumed, a battlefield where I have turned my doubts into certainties. The best way out is always through. My summer was wonderful because of this, not despite it.

I still need to trick my mind into not thinking all the time, numb it, subdue it. My mind has been trained to protect me, to control. I don't have a dream, I have a plan. The mind is an obnoxious monkey; the heart a frail butterfly that may fall from the heights of beauty into the lows of lust. Sometimes I wish I could rewire myself to let go, to flow freely with all that is: the wind, the water, the forest, the years, the whole.

The sun rises so it can dramatically set through the thick pink clouds. The leaves fall, the fall falls, we still fall for each other. Running is controlled falling. I run through the rustling, honey filled air of autumn to find and maintain a sense of balance, to find peace.

This summer I became more resilient, wiser, more aware of the nowness. My hands look older than I am, my soul feels even older, but my energy is renewed. I am fully grateful to be around in this perceived time and space. I love my whole, me wholly.

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